Sunday, December 24, 2006
Portability of transport : Part I
International airports have never been busier. The buzz is that all modes of transport will be interconnected in Jan 2007. Two years worth of bus tickets from Jayanagar to the Majestic bus stand in Bangalore can be redeemed for a flight to Rochester, Minnesota ( did you say what, where...?!). Like they do in Zurich with the ZVV. Quote : One ticket for everything. A user-friendly zone system with a standard tariff ensures that you can use all forms of transport with just one ticket. Unquote.
Here's a peek at what a bus commuter will like about plane rides :
Queues : If you are tired of the mad scramble for the front or rear door of the bus or sometimes even a large gaping window, this one is for you. At airports, the queues are orderly and if you have a few children with you, you get preference for waiting. But here is a insider tip : like a wise investor, you have to learn to time the market ever so subtly. If you can browse the airport gift shop AND from the corner of your eye see a new attendant open a closed X-ray machine counter, dash for it ! There is no joy like being at the head of a queue despite not having waited in it !
Tickets: If you like the fine print on the Rs. 2.00 ticket, you will love this. Airplane tickets range from staid printed booklets 100 pages thick to pure PNR #s stored in the human RAM. Sometimes, when flight delays are imminent (see Reasons For Flight Delays : RFFD), the hard-copy material can be a life-saver. Browse the document or simply try and map airports back to their codes. Its a post-graduates delight. Did you know that all "IX" codes belong to Indian airports ? And that you can take a connection to IXT (Pasighat, India. what, where?!) from RZZ (Halifax, US). In just 21 hops.
Conductors: The Philharmonic orchestra has our very own Zubin Mehta. And if you have actually put a face to one in a BTS ( Bangalore Transport Service) bus, the air-borne version of it will be a pleasant change. They are smartly dressed, wear identity badges and dont ask you to get off if its crowded. The leather sling-bags are passe: they sport a large metal contraption on wheels. And they dont issue tickets and ultimatums. They serve with a smile. Sometimes, you will find them at the rear of an aircraft catching up on a romantic novel or simply picking their nose. Dont disturb them. The orange juice is usually on the self-service counter.
Let me not lull you into a feeling good about this new phenomenon of portability. Here is why you may want to reconsider abandoning 12B to Shivajinagar.
Delays: RFFDs (see, even web sites can be difficult) are being invented every single day. Carly Fiorina(CEO HP 1999-2005) would be proud. Last time I travelled 70 miles from MSP, USA to RST, USA it took us 3 hours. Because somebody from the incoming flight left the last page of his "The World is Triangular : how to transform it from an isoceles to an equilateral." at the gate and we had to turn back for it. Nobody batted an eyelid the time I lost my ceramic tooth-filling in my dinner tray.
Comfort: If you are looking to switch modes of transport for comfort, think twice. Due to federal safety regulations, every seat-pocket in front of your seat has 20 hand-outs that you are mandated to read. Including the one on "How to steer your plane to safety if you ran out of mouth-freshners". Sometimes, they run you through a quiz. The questions are easy. Its just that the answers require a peek into your neighbours responses. And copying is a federal aviation offence. And nature's call isnt addressed by getting off at the nearest bus-stop. The lavatory signs are set to "Occupied" and with the finesse of Karpov battling the Deep Blue at a chess game, you have to make a dash for it when it flashes "Available".
End of Part I.
(Part II will be published in the next instalment. It will cover RFFDs, RFIDs and other Riff-raff (RFs).Until then the author can be reached at bhatsr at gmail).
International airports have never been busier. The buzz is that all modes of transport will be interconnected in Jan 2007. Two years worth of bus tickets from Jayanagar to the Majestic bus stand in Bangalore can be redeemed for a flight to Rochester, Minnesota ( did you say what, where...?!). Like they do in Zurich with the ZVV. Quote : One ticket for everything. A user-friendly zone system with a standard tariff ensures that you can use all forms of transport with just one ticket. Unquote.
Here's a peek at what a bus commuter will like about plane rides :
Queues : If you are tired of the mad scramble for the front or rear door of the bus or sometimes even a large gaping window, this one is for you. At airports, the queues are orderly and if you have a few children with you, you get preference for waiting. But here is a insider tip : like a wise investor, you have to learn to time the market ever so subtly. If you can browse the airport gift shop AND from the corner of your eye see a new attendant open a closed X-ray machine counter, dash for it ! There is no joy like being at the head of a queue despite not having waited in it !
Tickets: If you like the fine print on the Rs. 2.00 ticket, you will love this. Airplane tickets range from staid printed booklets 100 pages thick to pure PNR #s stored in the human RAM. Sometimes, when flight delays are imminent (see Reasons For Flight Delays : RFFD), the hard-copy material can be a life-saver. Browse the document or simply try and map airports back to their codes. Its a post-graduates delight. Did you know that all "IX" codes belong to Indian airports ? And that you can take a connection to IXT (Pasighat, India. what, where?!) from RZZ (Halifax, US). In just 21 hops.
Conductors: The Philharmonic orchestra has our very own Zubin Mehta. And if you have actually put a face to one in a BTS ( Bangalore Transport Service) bus, the air-borne version of it will be a pleasant change. They are smartly dressed, wear identity badges and dont ask you to get off if its crowded. The leather sling-bags are passe: they sport a large metal contraption on wheels. And they dont issue tickets and ultimatums. They serve with a smile. Sometimes, you will find them at the rear of an aircraft catching up on a romantic novel or simply picking their nose. Dont disturb them. The orange juice is usually on the self-service counter.
Let me not lull you into a feeling good about this new phenomenon of portability. Here is why you may want to reconsider abandoning 12B to Shivajinagar.
Delays: RFFDs (see, even web sites can be difficult) are being invented every single day. Carly Fiorina(CEO HP 1999-2005) would be proud. Last time I travelled 70 miles from MSP, USA to RST, USA it took us 3 hours. Because somebody from the incoming flight left the last page of his "The World is Triangular : how to transform it from an isoceles to an equilateral." at the gate and we had to turn back for it. Nobody batted an eyelid the time I lost my ceramic tooth-filling in my dinner tray.
Comfort: If you are looking to switch modes of transport for comfort, think twice. Due to federal safety regulations, every seat-pocket in front of your seat has 20 hand-outs that you are mandated to read. Including the one on "How to steer your plane to safety if you ran out of mouth-freshners". Sometimes, they run you through a quiz. The questions are easy. Its just that the answers require a peek into your neighbours responses. And copying is a federal aviation offence. And nature's call isnt addressed by getting off at the nearest bus-stop. The lavatory signs are set to "Occupied" and with the finesse of Karpov battling the Deep Blue at a chess game, you have to make a dash for it when it flashes "Available".
End of Part I.
(Part II will be published in the next instalment. It will cover RFFDs, RFIDs and other Riff-raff (RFs).Until then the author can be reached at bhatsr at gmail).
